Football funnies

  I have always enjoyed just about every sport I have tried and football was no different, Canadian football that is. I was a big Ottawa Rough Rider fan when I was a kid in the 60's mostly because of a running back they had named Ron Stewart. He was quite small for a running back but he was as tough as nails and a great little back. I wanted to be just like Ron Stewart so in junior high when the opportunity arose I signed up to join the one of the four teams in our school league. I was small so I had to get a note from my mother saying it was OK for me to play tackle football, something I had been doing for years with my friends. The school supplied the jerseys, pants and helmets back then and they were very well used and made for bigger boys than I happened to be at the time. I remember swimming in my football sweater it was so big  and having to use a rope belt to hold my pants up. I could have spun the helmet 360 degrees while wearing it on my head. It was so big when I was running I had to run as smoothly as possible so the helmet wouldn't drop over my eyes and blind me. I got on a team though and because I was fast and a good athlete I made the team as a running back and a linebacker, albeit a small one.
  My memory of that first game is sketchy and I hardly carried the ball because our other back was named Hercules Faga and he fit the name. Really big, really strong and fast as well. Finally a play was called for me to run with the ball because the other team was keying on Herc. I don't remember how I got through the line but before I knew it I was on my way with only one player between myself and the goal line. His name was Doug Galea and he was about the equall of Herc, big,strong and fast. Doug came at me and hit me high, a little too high and I was able to spin off and when I looked up there was nothing between myself and the goal line 20 yards away. It would be my first touchdown ever while playing organized football and there were even a couple of hot girls from my class watching so this was going to be big. I put my head down and made for the end zone but after only a couple of steps fate had its way with me. The rope belt loosened and my pants dropped to my ankles. I had two choices, try to waddle in my undies and a jock strap to the end zone or drop to the ground. Common sense said that I would have a tough time beating the slowest kid in the school with my pants down around my ankles so I bit the bullet, fell to the ground, grabbed the pants and wiggled them back into place while lying on my back. The next thing I remember was the referee who was also my gym teacher (Mr Thomas) looking down at me, grinning from ear to ear which is amazing because I think that was the first time I had seen him smile in 2 years. That moment is frozen in time for me. I will never forget that smile. I remember nothing else, it's all a blur. I do know we won the championship that year and I am pretty sure I didn't carry the ball again. Mr. Thomas also had a little smile for me every time I showed up for gym class from then on. At least my misfortune made somebodies day.